3 ways to build resilience
When I received an email from the Life Management Science Labs, part of the KPI Institute, based in Melbourne asking me to join their podcast to talk about life as a wheelchair user, it seemed like a great opportunity to talk about the benefits of wheelchair skills.
Their original idea was a bit different from mine. They wanted to talk about what the physical set up of home life looks like for a wheelchair user and how this can be made more accessible. Don’t get me wrong, accessibility is really important and not enough is being done in my opinion to ensure that people can fully enjoy and utilise the spaces they occupy.
Although it’s important to talk about accessibility (see my previous blog on accessible housing here), I wouldn’t say that is my main area of expertise or interest. I suggested that we talk about wheelchair skills and how it might fit with another one of their themes of personal resilience. I will say that they were very accommodating of the suggestions I made about how to talk about wheelchair skills and the specifics to focus on.
So the next thing to arrange was a time to speak. As they’re based in Melbourne we were looking at a 10 hour time difference so squeezing a two hour recording window into their working day was going to be tricky. A bit of flexibility with them staying after 5pm their time and me being ready to go at 7am my time made it work.
Logistics were all sorted and questions were agreed on. But then I had to start thinking about the resilience that I get from wheelchair skills. I know it’s there. I know that the skills allow me to do so much. But how does that translate into resilience?
One thing that I really like about opportunities of speaking to people who don’t fully understand wheelchair skills or are coming at things from a slightly different angle is that I get the chance to think about what it is that I do and try and picture what this could look like from their perspective.
What resilience means to me
Firstly I needed to think about what the word resilience meant to me and why it’s so important. The biggest part of resilience for me is about protecting mental well-being. “Stressors”, things that affect our mental health negatively, can come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them will be expected and some unexpected. Some of them will be big and others will be small.
Building in practices that protect our well-being in daily life can be a big part of improving our resilience. Things like putting down our phone and getting some time away from screens or going to the park for some fresh air.
1. Putting things into perspective
One thing that I find useful in building resilience is putting things into perspective, which admittedly is easier said than done. Looking at the bigger picture can expose the smaller things for what they are - small things.
The idea of things passing can be a way to remind ourselves that things in life are mostly transient and nothing is going to last forever. This too shall pass is an idea that is shared excellently by Tom Hanks in the clip below.
Maybe you can become immune to these smaller things, or maybe not. But having the tools to deal with the stressors when they come up is key to building your resilience. Tools you might find useful could include healthy eating, getting enough sleep, connecting with others or getting professional help if you need it. The key is finding things that work for you and everything is a quick internet search away.
2. Not all resilience is internal
Talking about whatever it is getting you down is a great way of offloading things on your mind, sometimes it can be a way of putting things in perspective. Hearing that people are going through the same or similar things as you can help you feel less isolated and more part of a community, which is something of a basic human need and why we often try to find our people in all sorts of places. Some of these places can be healthier than others.
Finding your community online has never been easier than it is now. While there are risks involved in getting information and sharing ideas online, it is undoubtedly a fantastic way to connect with people that have things in common with you and see how they live their lives, maybe learning things that will be useful to you along the way.
Although finding an online community can be easier, finding something in person can bring more benefits whether that’s playing a sport, joining a social cause or something cultural. The rapport that can be built up in person is a hundred times better and faster than it can be done online.
3. Foundations to build on
For me, wheelchair skills have always been something very foundational. I see them as essential tools that can be used to achieve all of things that I’ve talked about in this blog. The technical skills are need to get to these spaces, so pushing yourself there, getting up the kerb and opening the door to the event.
But equally as important is the confidence to get there. For me personally and what I’ve seen with other people who have learned wheelchair skills is that the first step in having the confidence to do things comes from the confidence they have in themselves as a wheelchair user.
We live in an inaccessible world that perpetuates the narrative that being disabled is wrong. After my injury, I had an image in my mind of what life as a wheelchair user would be like and that ableist attitude could have been much more damaging that it was.
That ability to get out there and try things gives you the chance to discover who you are and what you want. I think it’s in finding purpose that we can really break free of the paradigms.
Whenever starting something, I try to remind myself that things probably won’t happen quickly. I’m 17 years post injury and it’s been a journey to where I am today. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.
